In the series of putting personal experiences, whether one’s own, friends’, or readers’, into black and white, today let’s talk about one such experience… While this might be about someone’s personal experience, we all may have been in this situation sometime, maybe as a victim or the cause.
Selective Hearing
Let’s assume you’re having a conversation with someone about the current situation, or about the irregularities happening in your society, or about events occurring in the country, and suddenly the other person breaks eye contact. The genuine response you were getting while talking suddenly stops… they pick up their phone and start scrolling for no reason, or their eyes start searching for someone in that room. In that moment, your presence becomes zero… your words, your sentences… start floating somewhere in the air… you’re put in a state of confusion… whether to stop or continue… and then suddenly they say, “Sorry, what did you say…?”
Such incidents are becoming increasingly common in today’s ‘hyperconnected’ world. Most of the time, it’s a calculated display of supposed superiority. An attempt to show off one’s smartness.
The Psychology of ‘Selective Hearing’
When someone deliberately breaks eye contact during conversation, it can be a statement: “What I’m thinking about right now is more important than what you’re saying.” Those who do this believe they’re displaying their importance and busy lifestyle.
Excellent example of ‘social choreography’.
Indeed, it can be called an excellent example of ‘social choreography’. One moment you’re completely engrossed in conversation, and the next moment you disappear into your own world like a scientist who has spotted some new element for discovery… while the conversation with the person exchanging thoughts with you is still ongoing. In reality, this is the perfect example of ‘selective hearing’.
They wear their divided attention as a ‘badge of honor’. These people try to demonstrate how capable they are of ‘multitasking’ – handling multiple thoughts and tasks simultaneously in this digital age. They feel, doing this makes them appear sophisticated and in demand. In reality, their mindset makes them believe that, giving full focus or giving complete attention to you or your conversation means they have nothing else or better to do.
Examples of How This ‘Multi-tasking’ Demonstration Can Happen:
Superiority Complex in Action:
- Phone scrolling to check messages or posts – neither of which definitely just arrived… nor are they urgent. If they were, there would be a phone call, not a message.
- Suddenly asking someone sitting nearby, “Did you do what I told you to do?” Certainly, it was not said there at that place… so when was it told and when was the other person supposed to do it?
- Telling a third person, “Oh, Hi! I didn’t see you here!” as if the person descended from thin air. When no one came or went from that place, how appropriate is this reaction?
Such incidents have now become common incidences……
This is an interesting topic for discussion because people who do this know very well how to make their rudeness look intellectual. They have mastered the art of such selective hearing, selective memory… selective talking (snipers) etc.—through this amazing art they make the statement that what you said during the conversation, or the way you met them, was somewhat different from their assumed or expected thoughts about you.
Knowingly or unknowingly, their body language says a lot at such times. Often, it is so intense that they unconsciously consider the speaker to be less important according to their thinking, socially or professionally. But this is a personal belief; it is not necessary that it is socially acceptable. It’s also not necessary that their assumption or expectation is correct, appropriate, and that you fell short. And it’s also a fact that the speaking person doesn’t necessarily have to be right either. These incidents are not relative but subjective.
We’ll discuss again about this selective memory syndrome, selective hearing, and these snipers who wear the mask of smartness and shoot sugar-coated arrows, and about their karmic connection or karmic comedy.
